I voted.

Yeah that's right. I voted. Took me ten minutes on election day. It was easier than ordering a diet coke from an illegal immigrant at McDonald's. Don't worry though. I'm not writing this blog today to try an influence you to vote. Part of that is because I don't think anybody reads this anyway and the other part is because I think all those celebrity "you need to go vote and make your voice heard" ads are just dumb. Look, if you've decided to vote because Kanye West told you to while he was on TRL and you were crying in the audience cause you just touched his yellowish sweatsuit, then you should maybe just leave the country because you don't deserve to be an American. Harsh? I don't care. Vote because people died so you could. If you don't vote, shame on you. If you're not voting because you don't know who to vote for, shame on you for not knowing who to vote for.

This friend of mine emailed me this forward that she also emailed five million other people. It was one of those gimmicky celeb infused vote or die campaigns on YouTube. The basic message from every celebrity we worship was "don't vote." Don't vote if you don't care about change....yada yada blah blah yada yada. Let me translate this for you: Don't vote...if you are a republican. That's the thing about celebrities and anyone under thirty who's a vegetarian and likes art films....they are all democrats. Listen, on the "I want to be a celebrity" application form, you have to check the terms and conditions box at the end of page 2 agreeing to fore go any and all previous conservative viewpoints. You are now a celebrity. You are now concerned about the looming extinction of the rare field mouse in Alaska. You have taken the obligatory trip to your African country of choice on your Gulf stream G5 with your two stylists, your personal assistant, your chef and your camera crew of seven to film you playing street soccer with some starving kids. Feel good about yourself. You are culturally aware. You are a Democrat.

Like I said earlier, I also think it's funny how if you're under thirty, you are or are assumed to be voting for Obama. I don't think any of my friends are McCain people. If they are, they aren't saying. But the truth is, most of them are Obama people because their friends are Obama people. They don't really know why they are. They just hate Bush....because you know....he's bad and stuff. And we invaded Iraq for oil and he's personally responsible for Katrina and I have cilantro growing on my back. A lot of people under thirty are voting for Obama because they're sheep. I'm not saying he's a bad dude. He's not a Muslim and he's not the antichrist. I'm sure he's a good guy who wants to make America better. I just don't think he will. Period. He might make us all feel better in the short term but I'm not drinking the cool aid. I think he's Jimmy Carter.

Truth is, John McCain't going to win the election even if I want him to. The sheep have spoken.